Hi! Welcome to my website and my story. My journey and what I have learned up close and personal about anxiety and depression are the motivations behind the creation of this site. I hope you find valuable information here that will be helpful and encouraging to you.
My introduction and connection to anxiety and panic attacks began over 25 years ago when my beautiful daughter was just three and a half years old. As a baby and toddler, she was so lively, energetic, and carefree. But there was a week in her life that would turn out to be detrimental and completely change her life forever.
I remember one evening my daughter ran a high fever and vomited several times during the night. This continued to be the case the following night so I took her to see her doctor that next morning. I was assured it was just a virus, and it would have to run its course.
For the next two nights, she was still having fever. I recall putting her in a lukewarm bathtub to keep her fever controlled as rotating Tylenol and Motrin like the doctor advised was not enough.
On the fourth day, I was so very concerned because she was not much better, and I was not seeing any improvement. I took her back to the doctor. Once again, he assured me it was a virus, and there was nothing else to do but wait for it to eventually run its course. Another two days went by before my daughter's fever broke, and she finally stopped vomiting.
I was very relieved when she began feeling better and thought that was the end to that horrific week. But as a little time went by, I noticed changes in my daughter's behavior. She started asking repeatedly every five to ten minutes if she had a fever, if she was going to throw up, if she was going to be sick at night. This became a daily and habitual thing.
I remember so many times the neighborhood kids would knock on our door and want my daughter to go outside to play with them. But she was lying on the couch, pale as a ghost, looking terrified, and asking her routine questions. I would try comfort her in every way I knew. I would take her temperature frequently just to assure her that she did not have a fever.
At four years old, she was showing many OCD behaviors, and little by little, amidst her nervousness, she had pulled all her bangs out. When she experienced any thing that brought her some sort of comfort, she wanted an exact repeat of that situation or that day.
Very soon her anxiety escalated into full blown panic attacks. She would literally shake. Her heart would pound and race. Her body would seize with her hands curled up. She would have difficulty breathing.
She started seeing the top therapists around who eventually prescribed anxiety drugs. The medications just made her act like a zombie. She got to where she could not function in or at school.
Trying any and everything to try help comfort her, I requested for a special transfer when she was in eighth grade so she could attend same school as her cousin. This did not seem to make much of a difference. Many of the days that I was actually able to get her out of the car to go on to her classes, the school counselor would call me to say she was not having a good day, was too anxious to continue through the day, and that I needed to pick her up. Through all the hardships, however, she did complete high school and even walked at graduation!
As a mother, of course, I wanted to be able to take all her anxiety and fear away. I felt so helpless. I prayed. I cried. I researched. I did all I knew to do. I worried and wondered about her quality of life going forward. I questioned if she would ever know some sort of normalcy, if she would be able to experience a happy life, a family, a career, just all the things that a young person should be able to enjoy.
She was on medications for years, but when she started having suicidal thoughts, she was determined with God's help and her doctors' supervision to get off all of her anxiety drugs. This was a process and finally achieved.
In that time period, we found an anxiety program that teaches coping skills, helps to reinforce positive thoughts, and aims to reprogram negative thought patterns. This anxiety program has helped tremendously and continues to be a valuable source when she feels anxious.
In addition, she has recently discovered CBD and has experienced its positive effects on her anxiety. She benefits from CBD gummies and CBD-infused honey straws. These both seem to calm her down on the onset of anxiety and/or a panic attack.
Fast forward to today, I am very happy to report that in the midst of my daughter's ongoing battles with anxiety, she has persevered, prevailed, and come out stronger! She is a thriving twenty nine year old, an extraordinary, caring, attentive mother of three beautiful children, and the owner of two successful businesses.
Yes, she still struggles from time to time with health anxiety but has learned how to manage it. She always knows she is loved and can call on me and other family members whenever she needs help to calm down.
If you struggle with anxiety and/or depression, I encourage you to get health hangry about it and seek help today (whatever that might mean for you) so you can reclaim your best quality of life!